The Darkest hour

Sometimes you find the light while in the midst of the darkest hour. Sometimes it appears that Evil is winning conquering Good. The day I lost my life was certainly true of this. People I had known for years were suddenly turning their backs they were taking from the widow and her children all that they had left. I remember my 3 year old son answering the phone and someone saying they were sorry for his loss and they had heard it cut his daddy’s legs off which wasn’t even close to true. What breed of human does that I remember people destroying our home and fighting over his things. Things that he would never use or wear again. I remember looking at him in the dim lights of the hospital room they had placed him in and praying to God if he would stand me up if he would only stand me up I would take whatever came my way. The darkest hour never comes in the middle of night it never comes when we are only sleeping it comes when you least expect it, when your looking the other way, when the world is right. After praying for the strength to stand up I felt this overwhelming feeling of warmeth ,of strength, of power just like a huge set of arms had came around me engulfed me in their embrace. I remember them pulling me to my feet I remember feeling like it was him and he had heard my prayers he had felt my pain. During a time of tragedy it’s hard to see the light or keep the faith especially when you hear someone say it was his time or God needed him and all you can think is about those babies standing before you wanting to know why, how could God need their daddy more than they did! I was a grown adult I couldn’t see how he could need him more than me. The God I had always known was a loving God a God that only seen beauty didn’t see color and taught us to love each other as we wanted to be loved, not a Hellfire and brimstone kinda God but a God that was the ultimate parent that had more love in his little pinky then I had in my whole body,was I greater than he,if I couldn’t stand to take even the smallest thing from my children then how could he could take the best thing from his! No! No! I do not believe this I still believe he cries when we do he carries us when we cannot walk he holds us when we are weak he lifts us up when we fall. If I believe in him so strong then I have to believe in evil too that their is a counter part , a villain, a liar, waiting to hurt us ,waiting to lead us astray, waiting patiently to make us turn our backs on the Father I so dearly love. Causing maham and leading us into temptation with every fiber in our being and blinding us to truth standing infront of us. A Devil, a demon, a legion of minions. I carry my demons still to this day but I do not carry them alone for he is with me he is the light ,he is in the waiting. “Take courage my heart stay steadfast my soul for he is in the waiting, he is in the waiting.”


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